The Truth

So, I've basically been lying to people for a while now. As far as my close friends and relations know, I have been having seizures. While this part is true, we left out an important detail. I am also suffering from night terrors.

Now, we're not quite sure exactly what they are, but after browsing Web MD I decided that night terrors fix my symptoms quite closely. I have had many of them in a short period of time, and I am very afraid. My doctor said that if they do not stop I will have to go to the hospital for a few days and have 24-hour observation.

Well, that sucks.

I mean, seriously. It's the holidays! My birthday is tomorrow, Christmas is in a few days, and you want me to be stuck in a hospital??? I know that this is in my best interest, but I still hate it.

So there. That's the truth. Take it or leave it.

I Can Do it All!

I may have finally bitten off more than I can chew. To be admitting this possibility is a huge step for me, but that doesn't help me very much otherwise. Basically, this is my life right now:

1. RHA Secretary
This is a fairly large responsibility, consisting of writing and typing up minutes, attending roughly three meetings weekly, and doing other campus activities.

2. Equestrian Club Secretary
This is a slightly smaller but still important post, and part of my job will be to help the club write up bylaws and a constitution. It also involves me hanging out at the barn all the time, which is very fun. :D

3. Debut Day Leader (?)
This is my latest piece of news. At my school freshmen and transfer students go through a "Debut Day" in the summer that helps them get familiar with the campus and meet new people. I recently recieved an email that said I was chosen as a finalist. I must give a presentation on Wednesday, and they will pick the official leaders after that. If I get this job (yes, it pays!), I will have to go through a lot of training, and then I will help run the Debut Days over the summer and give tours on campus during the spring and fall semesters.

I am very excited about this opportunity, and I really hope that I get it. However, I'm a bit nervous about what this will do to my sanity. The only problem is that I want to do it all, so I would have a hard time giving something up. Only time will tell.

Meyer book is no more, bad move

I first became a fan of Stephenie Meyer when I read her adult book "The Host." Later, at the insistence of a friend, I read Meyer's young adult series "Twilight." Although they weren't the best books, they were easy to read, were relatively rich with action and had some well-developed characters.

However, recent events have made me want to deny that I was ever a fan and supporter of Meyer.

She had given incomplete copies of her next book, "Midnight Sun," a repeat of the first book written from a different character's perspective, to "trusted individuals." Recently, one of these copies was leaked onto the Internet, and within days a large number of people had read the unedited draft of the first 12 chapters.

On Aug. 28, Meyer announced on her Web site that the book was no longer going to be published.

"If I tried to write 'Midnight Sun' now, in my current frame of mind, [the bad guy] would probably win and all the [good guys] would die…I feel too sad about what has happened to continue working on 'Midnight Sun,' and so it is on hold indefinitely," the announcement read.

Seriously, Meyer needs to step back and do a reality check. Anyone who writes extremely popular books will have details leaked, but that's simply the price of fame. And in this case, it is not the fan's fault, but the fault of Meyer herself.

It is not as though someone hacked into her computer; she gave copies away. She should have known that there was a chance that it would be posted on the internet, and she shouldn't be punishing her fans for a mistake that she made.

As for her statement on Meyer's Web site, it makes her sound like a child. Of course it is upsetting when someone betrays your trust, but the way she reacted is something that you would expect from a child, not an adult. Saying that the villain would win and everyone would die is taking the situation a little too far.

Many of her fans who knew about "Midnight Sun" were eagerly awaiting its release and anticipating the insight it would give them into the other character. They weren't the one who posted her work online for the whole world to see. They had absolutely nothing to do with the leak, but now Meyer is punishing them after they stood by her for so many years as she made her way to the top of bestseller lists.

And it's not like releasing the finished book would hurt her sales seeing as how she's already so popular. Plus, not everyone is Internet savvy and constantly searching for leaked books.

Meyer should get over the fact that her work was leaked and move on. It is understandable if she needs to take a break, but canceling her book permanently because she can't get over it is simply being rude to her readers and unprofessional toward her publisher(s) is not.

If she wants to be respected she needs to grow up and stop punishing fans for something that wasn't their fault.

Women Can Play Video Games, Too

It's an hour after dinner, and I decide to unwind by breaking one of the most common gender-based stereotypes. I turn on my TV and start playing a video game.

I am not what you would call a hard-core gamer, but I play quite a bit and like comparing games with other people. But whenever I join a conversation about video games, I am met with strange looks. One friend put it quite bluntly: "Girls who spend more than 20 minutes on their hair don't play video games."

But why should it be that way? I shouldn't get strange looks when I play video games or when I walk into a GameStop store. Guys aren't the only people who can enjoy video games. The only problem is that women aren't expected to. Believe it or not, women are interested in more things than shopping and doing their hair. We shouldn't be dismissed in the gaming world.

According to ABC News, the number of women playing video games is on the rise. This encouraged me, until I did a search for news articles concerning women and video games. It seems that we have yet to escape the stereotype.

In the articles that I found, various marketers were quoted regarding the types of games that appeal to women. I was disappointed to hear that we are still battling the assumption that women just care about shopping. Women shouldn't be afraid to play video games, and guys should be more accepting.

The reports claimed that women only like nonviolent, peaceful games, like The Sims and Harvest Moon. Now, I'm not saying that there is anything wrong with these games. It just annoys me that developers think that is all we enjoy.

I have played shooter games, racing games and RPGs, also known as Role-Playing Games. And even though I'm a girl, I enjoyed them. They are a great way to relieve stress and it's nice to know that if you make a mistake, you'll be able to jump back up and try again. I'm currently making my way through The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess, a game that, according to experts, shouldn't hold my interest.

I don't have a problem with women who only like the nonviolent games. I know it's a personal preference, and I respect that. The only problem I have is being treated like we don't belong in a world of gaming, when both men and women should be able to enjoy themselves. There shouldn't be an unspoken assumption that keeps us out, and we shouldn't be treated differently when we try to join.

Unfortunately, gaming is not the only stereotype we have to deal with. Head over to the gym, and you'll see that almost all of the people playing basketball there are guys. Very rarely do you see a girl there. If they do join the games, they have trouble being accepted into the action and respected for their shots. These stereotypes against women are going on everywhere. Most people just choose not to see it.

Plan B

Today was supposed to be the day that my blog changed. Unfortunately, my original plan got changed, and I seriously need to rant about it before my head explodes. So even though Plan A failed, I shall change my blog with a flimsy Plan B.

See, last week I wrote a column for my school's newspaper that was supposed to be featured on Wednesday. However, a timelier article was written and my column got pushed back until this Friday. Of course, I told this news to pretty much everyone that I know, from my journalism professor to my grandparents. This morning I picked up a copy of the paper, flipped eagerly to page 4 and saw...someone else's article. After much swearing and ranting to both my parents on the phone, I called my editor and left an impressively calm message. He texted me back a little while later and promised to call me between 10 and 11am. It is now 1pm, and I am still waiting for his call.

Now, I'm not an unreasonable person. I understood when my column was pushed back in favor of the timely article. I would have probably understood if my editor had bothered to tell me that my column wouldn't be published on Friday. The only problem I have is that nobody bothered to tell me anything. If somebody had bothered to explain, and if my editor had graced me with a call this morning like he promised, I wouldn't be so mad. Apparently that's just the way life works.

Hopefully my column will be published one of these days. And if not, the newspaper's supervisor will definitely be hearing from me.

Blog Revamp

After a long absence, I have decided to revamp my blog. The title and "theme" is going to be changed, and I will be updating at a regular pace with editorials/opinion articles that I am writing for my university's newspaper. I will also probably write posts on whatever happens to be on my mind at the time. The first opinion article that I post will probably be the last one with a more "female take" on things; after that I will change my style of writing.

So please keep visiting; I promise that this will be more active very soon. Any comments are appreciated!

The Original Rants: "Advertisements"

Since there's really nothing for me to write about right now, I decided to post another one of my old rants. Enjoy.

I was in the middle of a perfectly nice game of Bejeweled on MSN today when suddenly my game was at a standstill. “Your game will resume in 10 seconds”, the screen told me. Slowly, the numbers counted down in a time span that I am sure was more than 10 seconds. Meanwhile, an ad for the Atkins diet was shoved in my face. First of all, I am not on a diet. Second of all, I came to play Bejeweled, not to see some stupid ads every three levels or so. It’s bad enough that when you click on the game to play it, it shoves a huge ad in your face and makes you click again to actually start. But this? This is insane.

If you go play a game on MSN, you’ll see what I mean. They have four ads on the page where you select the game you want to play. Then there are three ads on the page where you select if you want to play the game online or download the *free* trial version, or you can even play for cash when available. So I click to play, and half the times they show me an ad and make me click again. Then on the screen where I can actually play, there are another two ads on the side. Then they have to shove ads in every few levels! WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS?!?!

If I want to go on a diet, I’ll look for diets myself. If I want a new car, I’ll go to a car dealer. If I want a new pair of jeans, I’ll go to the store. I DO NOT NEED ADS SHOVED IN MY FACE EVERY TIME I WANT TO PLAY A GAME!

I understand that MSN needs money to keep them going. But this? This is insane.

Our world is simply drowning in ads. You don’t have to look very far to see them. In fact, it’s hard not to when they’re jumping up every time you open a page on the internet. Free prizes? Yeah right. I’m the 100,000th visitor? Possibly, but not EVERY TIME I go to that same page. They’re just shoving a bunch of crap in our faces, hoping that one of us is stupid enough to believe them.

And just wait, folks. It’s only going to get worse.

Secrets, Secrets

While I was in bed this morning, waiting for the sleep that never did come, I made one of the most difficult decisions that I have ever made so far in my life: the decision to forgive and forget. And coming from someone who is very good at holding a grudge, it was a surprising choice. Hopefully I won't regret it.

The whole thing started a little less than a year ago, when I first went away to college. My roommate was trusted with a secret, but I found out that she told some of our friends this secret. That fact ended our friendship for a long time, until a few days ago, when she contacted me for the first time in months. At that time, she was willing to put everything aside, but I guess I wasn't, because we got into a big argument again, and things ended badly a second time.

But ever since that last argument I've been thinking. Yes, she betrayed my trust and hurt me a great deal. But does that mean I should throw away our friendship? When she was willing to put everything aside and start over? Maybe I'm being weak, just trying to avoid conflict, and I guess that's one way to look at it. But when I think about everything, I realize how much we went through together, and I realize that I'm not quite ready to lose that.

New Podcast

I would like to make a small announcement: I am now part of a podcast! I hope that you will all take a listen and tell me what you think. Any questions, comments, or suggestions can be sent to mimi60516@yahoo.com with something regarding "podcast" in the subject line so that it is not marked as spam. I would love to hear what you think!

I don't think that it's up on iTunes yet, but if you go to this link you can directly download the podcast to your computer.
http://theblogandpodcastofateenageguy.blogspot.com/

College Memories

So, I could be really lazy today and just post another one of my past rants and call it a night. However, there’s some stuff going on and I just feel like going off on a tangent.
Looking around everyone’s Facebook, I see notes about how they are so sad that the school year is over and that they are leaving college to go back home. It really makes me wonder what I would be feeling if I was still away. See, I started at a college away from home…

But then I relapsed. I’m not sure if it was the pressure of classes, or being away from home, but I got depressed again. VERY depressed. I spent a day with a counselor, and after crying my eyes out for three straight hours (I did not know this was possible, but it is), it was decided that I would be sent home to go to a psychiatric hospital. My parents were on a cruise at the time, so the day was filled with long-distance calls, tears, and a long car ride late at night to the hospital.

I eventually got better, and after two weeks in outpatient therapy I was allowed to return to college. But as I settled back into my routine, I realized that something had changed. The people who I had once been good friends with wouldn’t look at me anymore. I had become invisible. True, I was quieter, but whenever they came to visit our dorm I tried to interact. It was tough, but I made an effort. I may as well have stayed silent.

Finally I snapped. I asked my roommate why nobody would talk to me anymore. She explained that she had told our friends just why I had been away from school for two weeks. I couldn’t believe it. I had trusted her with that information, and she handed it out like candy. She had also told her parents and brother. According to her, she was within her rights to tell people.

Needless to say, we fought over it. After a lot of tears on my part my roommate left, and I called my parents. I had already experienced some trouble catching up, so this was yet another straw on the camel’s back. And it looked like the back might be breaking. After I calmed down enough so that my parents could understand me, I told them everything that had happened. They advised me to think about my options: get a new roommate, or withdraw for the semester and come back home. It was a tough choice.

Obviously, I ended up choosing to leave. I spoke to my RA that night, and started to pack my things. Early the next morning my dad showed up, and we miraculously fit everything into one car. We went through the withdraw process and left the campus, heading toward home.

I won’t say that I haven’t regretted that decision many times, or that I didn’t cry about it for a few weeks, or that I didn’t have many choice swears directed at my roommate from the safety of the car, and later, home. But ultimately I think I did the right thing. Catching up after two weeks’ absence in college is no easy feat. It would have been difficult for me to pass, and may have even led to another bout of depression. So it may have been all for the better.

But I still find myself wondering what would have happened if I had stayed. How many more fun days would we have had, nailing fabric to the ugly bolsters, hiding keys in our shirts, having dinner, playing my Wii, and just plain messing around? I’m sure that if I had remained in college that semester I would be sad to go. Hopefully next year I’ll be able to find out for myself.

The Original Rants

Since I'm lazy tonight, and this entire blog started with the intention of publishing my original rants, I'm going to start off with one tonight. This incident happened several years ago in my hometown, possibly in 2005 or 2006.

Once again I have found proof that society is going down the drain. Sad how these things keep popping up, isn’t it?

Unfortunately, these days you hear a lot about bombs being found and attempted terrorist attacks being foiled. I know I have heard a lot of those stories recently. But every time I heard one, while I would be sad that it happened, I never thought that it could happen to my town. I mean, come on. It’s not like I live in a major city or anything. It could never happen here...right?

Well, good old Murphy has proved me wrong, as he has a tendency to do.

On Monday a man collecting trash in our downtown area found a pipe bomb hidden under a pile of newspapers. He called the police, and within minutes the entire downtown area was evacuated. Stores were shut down. The streets were roped off. Bomb detection squads were called in. It was chaos, to say the least.

Thankfully the bomb was able to be disarmed, and no lasting harm was done. It only produced a “mild bang and an 8-foot fireball.” God only knows what would have happened if that man had never found it.

But the thing that really bothers me is what one man said in an interview with reporters for our local paper. He was the owner of a pharmacy which happened to be one of the stores that had to be shut down and evacuated. He went on and on, complaining about the inconvenience caused by having his store shut down. He said that Mondays were one of the best business days, and now he lost so much money because his store wasn’t open. “The terrorists have already won,” he said. “We get scared at every little thing like this.” Can someone please slap this man?

This wasn’t just another “little thing”. This was a pipe bomb. A bomb. God forbid that this man be concerned for the people who could have been hurt if the bomb had actually been detonated. But apparently this man doesn’t care about other people. He only cares about himself and his stupid business.

Sorry for all the money you lost, Sir. Next time I’ll just tell the idiots who made that bomb to put it in your store. Then we’ll see if you think it’s just another "little thing.”

The Beginning

Welcome to my blog, One Female’s Take on Life. It actually took me a while to decide on the title. I went back and forth between “woman” and “girl” for a terribly long time. As of this first post, I’m 19. One year ago I was legally declared an adult, and two years from now I will have finished that transition when I turn 21. But I still feel a bit in the middle. I’ve got the “teen” word in my age still, even though I’m an adult. So I settled with “female.” No matter how old I am, that will always apply.
You might be wondering why you should listen to what I have to say, and why I’m writing this blog in the first place. The answer is twofold, and the second question is the most easily explained. I was deleting files, clearing up room on my hard drive, when I cam across a file titled “Rants”. I opened it, and found about half a dozen writings intended for blogs with topics ranging from celebrities, terrorism, and candy bar wrappers. After writing another one on the spot, I decided to let my writing see the light of day.
Why should you listen to me? I don’t suppose there is any one reason. True, I’m only 19, but I have seen a lot in those years. I have cried inside an MRI machine and faced the diagnoses of epilepsy. I have been rear-ended on the highway and witnessed an attempted burglary at my own house. I have worn braces since the second grade and lived in the shadow of possible jaw surgery. I have seen the deadly edge of a knife and experienced the inside of a psychiatric hospital. I have watched a man deteriorate in a matter of months and spoken at my grandfather’s funeral. I have experienced betrayal at its worst and cried for almost three hours on end.
Is all of this true? Yes, and I could go on for even longer. Sure, some people my age have experienced more than I have, and many have experienced less. Whether you listen to me is up to you. I simply take comfort in getting my thoughts out of my head and into the world.