I would like to make a small announcement: I am now part of a podcast! I hope that you will all take a listen and tell me what you think. Any questions, comments, or suggestions can be sent to mimi60516@yahoo.com with something regarding "podcast" in the subject line so that it is not marked as spam. I would love to hear what you think!
I don't think that it's up on iTunes yet, but if you go to this link you can directly download the podcast to your computer.
http://theblogandpodcastofateenageguy.blogspot.com/
Friday, May 9, 2008
Thursday, May 1, 2008
College Memories
So, I could be really lazy today and just post another one of my past rants and call it a night. However, there’s some stuff going on and I just feel like going off on a tangent.
Looking around everyone’s Facebook, I see notes about how they are so sad that the school year is over and that they are leaving college to go back home. It really makes me wonder what I would be feeling if I was still away. See, I started at a college away from home…
But then I relapsed. I’m not sure if it was the pressure of classes, or being away from home, but I got depressed again. VERY depressed. I spent a day with a counselor, and after crying my eyes out for three straight hours (I did not know this was possible, but it is), it was decided that I would be sent home to go to a psychiatric hospital. My parents were on a cruise at the time, so the day was filled with long-distance calls, tears, and a long car ride late at night to the hospital.
I eventually got better, and after two weeks in outpatient therapy I was allowed to return to college. But as I settled back into my routine, I realized that something had changed. The people who I had once been good friends with wouldn’t look at me anymore. I had become invisible. True, I was quieter, but whenever they came to visit our dorm I tried to interact. It was tough, but I made an effort. I may as well have stayed silent.
Finally I snapped. I asked my roommate why nobody would talk to me anymore. She explained that she had told our friends just why I had been away from school for two weeks. I couldn’t believe it. I had trusted her with that information, and she handed it out like candy. She had also told her parents and brother. According to her, she was within her rights to tell people.
Needless to say, we fought over it. After a lot of tears on my part my roommate left, and I called my parents. I had already experienced some trouble catching up, so this was yet another straw on the camel’s back. And it looked like the back might be breaking. After I calmed down enough so that my parents could understand me, I told them everything that had happened. They advised me to think about my options: get a new roommate, or withdraw for the semester and come back home. It was a tough choice.
Obviously, I ended up choosing to leave. I spoke to my RA that night, and started to pack my things. Early the next morning my dad showed up, and we miraculously fit everything into one car. We went through the withdraw process and left the campus, heading toward home.
I won’t say that I haven’t regretted that decision many times, or that I didn’t cry about it for a few weeks, or that I didn’t have many choice swears directed at my roommate from the safety of the car, and later, home. But ultimately I think I did the right thing. Catching up after two weeks’ absence in college is no easy feat. It would have been difficult for me to pass, and may have even led to another bout of depression. So it may have been all for the better.
But I still find myself wondering what would have happened if I had stayed. How many more fun days would we have had, nailing fabric to the ugly bolsters, hiding keys in our shirts, having dinner, playing my Wii, and just plain messing around? I’m sure that if I had remained in college that semester I would be sad to go. Hopefully next year I’ll be able to find out for myself.
Looking around everyone’s Facebook, I see notes about how they are so sad that the school year is over and that they are leaving college to go back home. It really makes me wonder what I would be feeling if I was still away. See, I started at a college away from home…
But then I relapsed. I’m not sure if it was the pressure of classes, or being away from home, but I got depressed again. VERY depressed. I spent a day with a counselor, and after crying my eyes out for three straight hours (I did not know this was possible, but it is), it was decided that I would be sent home to go to a psychiatric hospital. My parents were on a cruise at the time, so the day was filled with long-distance calls, tears, and a long car ride late at night to the hospital.
I eventually got better, and after two weeks in outpatient therapy I was allowed to return to college. But as I settled back into my routine, I realized that something had changed. The people who I had once been good friends with wouldn’t look at me anymore. I had become invisible. True, I was quieter, but whenever they came to visit our dorm I tried to interact. It was tough, but I made an effort. I may as well have stayed silent.
Finally I snapped. I asked my roommate why nobody would talk to me anymore. She explained that she had told our friends just why I had been away from school for two weeks. I couldn’t believe it. I had trusted her with that information, and she handed it out like candy. She had also told her parents and brother. According to her, she was within her rights to tell people.
Needless to say, we fought over it. After a lot of tears on my part my roommate left, and I called my parents. I had already experienced some trouble catching up, so this was yet another straw on the camel’s back. And it looked like the back might be breaking. After I calmed down enough so that my parents could understand me, I told them everything that had happened. They advised me to think about my options: get a new roommate, or withdraw for the semester and come back home. It was a tough choice.
Obviously, I ended up choosing to leave. I spoke to my RA that night, and started to pack my things. Early the next morning my dad showed up, and we miraculously fit everything into one car. We went through the withdraw process and left the campus, heading toward home.
I won’t say that I haven’t regretted that decision many times, or that I didn’t cry about it for a few weeks, or that I didn’t have many choice swears directed at my roommate from the safety of the car, and later, home. But ultimately I think I did the right thing. Catching up after two weeks’ absence in college is no easy feat. It would have been difficult for me to pass, and may have even led to another bout of depression. So it may have been all for the better.
But I still find myself wondering what would have happened if I had stayed. How many more fun days would we have had, nailing fabric to the ugly bolsters, hiding keys in our shirts, having dinner, playing my Wii, and just plain messing around? I’m sure that if I had remained in college that semester I would be sad to go. Hopefully next year I’ll be able to find out for myself.
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