Secrets, Secrets

While I was in bed this morning, waiting for the sleep that never did come, I made one of the most difficult decisions that I have ever made so far in my life: the decision to forgive and forget. And coming from someone who is very good at holding a grudge, it was a surprising choice. Hopefully I won't regret it.

The whole thing started a little less than a year ago, when I first went away to college. My roommate was trusted with a secret, but I found out that she told some of our friends this secret. That fact ended our friendship for a long time, until a few days ago, when she contacted me for the first time in months. At that time, she was willing to put everything aside, but I guess I wasn't, because we got into a big argument again, and things ended badly a second time.

But ever since that last argument I've been thinking. Yes, she betrayed my trust and hurt me a great deal. But does that mean I should throw away our friendship? When she was willing to put everything aside and start over? Maybe I'm being weak, just trying to avoid conflict, and I guess that's one way to look at it. But when I think about everything, I realize how much we went through together, and I realize that I'm not quite ready to lose that.